boston bruins

The Bruins Can't Catch A Break

Don’t look now, but the Senators have won three straight since we all made fun of that tweet. Smart-asses that we are, maybe we shouldn’t have decided to forget, for the sake of trolling, that possession stats tend to show up on the scoreboard eventually.

Yeah, The Bruins Got Hosed

When writing a gamer, it can be tough to find just the right verb. You can’t just say a team “won” every time, or that they “beat” their opponents, because overuse gets boring, and you want to convey something of the substance of the game. Did they “dominate,” “thrash,” or “spank” the other team? Or did they merely…

The Senators Gave Up Two Goals In The Third Period And Lost. Can A Social Media Editor Tell Us If That Is Good?

Bruins' Brad Marchand Ejected For Spearing Guy In The Dick And Balls

With 40 seconds left in the first period of the Boston Bruins’ 4-0 win over the Tampa Bay Lightning, Boston’s Brad Marchand was suspended for whacking Lightning defenseman Jake Dotchin in the dick.

Emergency Backup Goalie Takes Zdeno Chara Slapshot To The Goolies

For all sorts of reasons, NHL teams occasionally dragoon a local, non-professional player into emergency practice goalie duty, just because they need a warm body. For the Bruins this afternoon, that’s Massachusetts State Police trooper Keith Segee, who appears to have played a couple of DIII games more than a decade…

Ratfuck Scores Hat Trick

Brad Marchand, Bruins forward and the definition of the word “pest,” is now tied with Sidney Crosby for second in the NHL in points (74) and first in goals (35).

Adam McQuaid Gets 25 Stitches After Skate Slashes Neck, Cleared To Play Tomorrow

Time for another entry in the seemingly endless litany of stories proving the true toughness of hockey players, folks. Bruins defenseman Adam McQuaid has been cleared to play tomorrow after taking a teammate’s skate right to the neck yesterday, which required something in the neighborhood of 25 stitches to fix:

Bruins Fire Claude Julien And Will Probably Regret It

The oldest trick in the book…the Tuesday morning news dump? The Bruins announced the firing of head coach Claude Julien shortly after sunrise, and while the move isn’t exactly unexpected (whether it’s wise is an entirely different question), the timing is suspect. Boston hasn’t played a game since Saturday and won’t…

Nawt A Goal

The Boston Bruins came ever so close to scoring in the first period of yesterday’s game, but Devils goalie Cory Schneider scrambled and fell on the puck before it made it over the line. The shot from the camera inside the net is excruciating if you’re a Boston fan, and delightful if you’re anyone else.