video games

I’m Still Trying to Figure Out How I Feel About Mass Effect: Andromeda

The new Mass Effect game is big, sprawling, and a little intimidating. It’s also needlessly complicated and oddly frustrating in places. Nevertheless, I can’t stop playing it. Allow me to try and figure out why.

God Help Me, I Don't Like The New Legend Of Zelda Game

Breath of the Wild, the latest installment in Nintendo’s beloved Legend of Zelda series, has received basically universal acclaim since its release back at the beginning of this month. If the still-early reception were to crystallize today, it would go down as one of the most widely and ecstatically praised video…

Why These Great Game Consoles Failed Spectacularly

There are few classes of consumer electronics that have had as exhilarating heights and as cringe-inducing lows as video game consoles. Since the Magnavox Odyssey plugged into TVs back in 1972 and delivered Pong to the masses, gaming consoles have demanded our attention.

I Can’t Stop Playing This Shitty iPhone Football Game

Football season is over, which means that I am forced to fill the gaping void in my life with booze, drugs, utterly worthless draft speculation, whatever has been gathering dust on the DVR, and (oh God) family interaction. OR DO I? You fellow GAMERS like me out there (I play games on my phone, which is the most…

Tom Brady And Dwight Freeney Play Video Game On Conan; Marshawn Lynch Steals Show

Takeaways from Conan O’Brien’s lasted edition of the now–annual Super Bowl Clueless Gamer segment: the Patriots are going to beat the Falcons; Tom Brady comes off as empty-headed as you’d imagine; Marshawn Lynch is still the best.

I Spent Two Weeks As A True Overwatch Idiot

Overwatch, they say, is about teamwork. They’re correct, but what they don’t tell you (because it should be obvious to anyone with a child’s understanding of how video games work) is that you shoot at your opponents, not your teammates. It would appear that I merely have an overgrown baby’s understanding of video…

FIFA Player Concedes Just The Dumbest Goal

Once I was playing the FIFA 17 demo and I somehow managed to score an own goal while trying to do a goal kick. That self-own pales in comparison to the goalmouth-scrambler conceded by Reddit user redz615 yesterday. Please enjoy the cinematic sendup that this dumb goal truly deserves.

Turn Pixel Art Into Playable Video Games With Bloxels, Now Just $20

Bloxels is ostensibly a children’s STEM toy, but it looks cool as hell, especially for an all-time low $20. Using a 13×13 grid and hundred of colored tiles, you can create your own pixel art, capture it with an iOS or Android device, and see it come to life as an interactive video game. Kids have it all these days,…

Hmmm, Yes, I Am Extremely Into This Game In Which 11,000 Penguins War With 4,000 Santas

Here we have a legitimately captivating video in which the makers of Epic Battle Simulator (video games are good) demonstrate what their game is capable of. This video is eight minutes long, and I watched the whole damn thing: