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This was a normal spring for D.C. sports teams, with the Capitals choking away a 1-seed and the Wizards serving as early-round filler for the Eastern Conference. No D.C. sports team has made the conference/league finals in nearly two decades, and no D.C. team has won a title since 1991. But should the rest of the…
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Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re talking prison food, exclamation points, immortality, dried fruit, and more.
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I guess if you want to pin the outcome of last night’s Game 7 on somebody—somebody other than repulsive unconscious three-bombing Canuck gorilla Kelly Olynyk—you can pin it on Scott Brooks and Ernie Grunfeld.
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There’s not a lot to see in this short clip of a Wizards fan and Celtics fan getting into it at last night’s Game 7, just one quick punch to the nose and some half-hearted shoving.
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Thanks to a big night from oafish backup center guy Kelly Olynyk, the Boston Celtics took Game 7 from the Washington Wizards tonight, 115-105, and won the honor of trying to stop LeBron James and the Cavs. They will probably not fare that well, but whatever, this is their night.
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Over the weekend, Nils Lofgren posted a snippet of “Wizards Fever,” a rough remake of his classic “Bullets Fever,” the greatest sports theme song our nation’s capital has ever known.
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The NBA has acknowledged a clock error in the closing seconds of Friday’s playoff game that would have given the Celtics an extra second on their final possession.
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The Washington Wizards forced a Game 7 against the Boston Celtics last night with a dazzling, heart-stopping three-pointer by John Wall. The Celtics, dressed for a funeral, were sent away mourning on their own. How best to celebrate? Giving a nice hearty ass-slap to Stephen A. Smith!
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Down two, five seconds left, season in the balance, the charred end of a night when his team hit 20-percent of its three-point attempts, a postseason in which home teams facing elimination were 0-10, the best defender on the East’s top seed staring him in the face, ladies and gentlemen, I give you Johnathan Hildred…
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What’s that, you say? After two consecutive dominant performances at home, the Wizards showed up flat and dazed-looking for a hugely important road game and got their asses kicked through the roofs of their mouths? Why in that case, it must have been literally any time the Wizards have played an important road game…
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Wizards youngster Kelly Oubre probably didn’t go into the playoffs expecting to be at the center of a big postseason storyline, but then he went and body-checked Kelly Olynyk in Game 3. After serving a one-game suspension while the Wizards played at home in Game 4, Oubre got back on the court in Boston last night, and…
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If the fifth game of a seven-game series is for making statements, then the Celtics wrote theirs in ten-foot tall letters using the Wizards’ blood.
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Early in the morning before the Atlanta Hawks lost Game 6 of their first round series against the Washington Wizards and got bounced from the playoffs, Hawks center Dwight Howard was pulled over for driving 95 mph in a 65 mph zone at 2:06 a.m.
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In his “Coach’s Corner” bit after the first quarter of last night’s Game 4 between the Celtics and the Wizards, Boston coach Brad Stevens explained to TNT’s David Aldridge how his team had shrugged off an early Washington run to end the period leading 24-20. “Even when it was 8-0 them,” he said, “we were playing way…
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The NBA will reportedly be suspending Kelly Oubre for one game after he shoved Kelly Olynyk during Thursday’s Game 3 between the Wizards and Celtics.
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First of all, as a basketball euphemism, physical play is bullshit. Everything that happens on a basketball court is physical play. A bounce-pass is a physical play. When broadcast crews and halftime pundits and bloggers say that one team is playing more physical than the other, particularly in the playoffs, what they…
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The Wizards dominated in the first quarter of tonight’s Game 3, going on a 20-0 run and heading to the second with a 39-17 lead over the Celtics. But you’ve heard that one before, and it hasn’t ended well for Washington lately. Tonight was different.
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Things got chippy early in the second quarter for the Celtics and Wizards, after Kelly Oubre was the victim of a hard screen by Kelly Olynyk. Oubre wasn’t especially pleased, and he showed it by charging Olynyk and shoving him to the ground:
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Is Wizards forward Markieff Morris only playing through an ankle injury because his brother Marcus is impersonating him? Let’s see what Marcus thinks.
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This isn’t meant to denigrate Isaiah Thomas, who fucked the Wizards all the way up last night and is proving himself to be the True Superstar nobody thought the Celtics had, but oh my God, can you imagine how aggravating it must be to get 53 points dropped on you by a guy who is about the size of Tom Cruise?
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The Boston Celtics won a game in which they trailed for pretty much all but a few moments of regulation, to take a 2-0 lead in their best-of-seven Eastern Conference semifinal series against the Washington Wizards. Celtics guard Isaiah Thomas was unstoppable in the fourth quarter and overtime, scoring 29 of his 53…
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The Wizards tried everything against Isaiah Thomas tonight. They threw taller defenders at him, they tried trapping him on pick-and-rolls, they tried switching on him, they tried hitting him. Nothing worked. The puny Celtics star got into the best point guard duel of the playoffs with John Wall and came out on the…
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The Wizards are not here to fuck around. They opened Game 1 of their second-round series against the Celtics with a ridiculous 16-0 run, starting things off with 7-of-10 shooting while outrebounding Boston 9-0. That was due in large part to Marcin Gortat, who scored nine and looked better than he did in any part of…
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With a little less than a minute left in last night’s Game 5 between Washington and Atlanta, John Wall dribbled into some open space behind a Marcin Gortat screen and calmly sank a 21-foot jumpshot, giving the Wizards a four-point lead with 47 seconds left to play.
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The Washington Wizards have, in John Wall, the best player—by a mile!—in their playoff series against the Atlanta Hawks. At pretty much any given moment, they have the better player at three of the five positions on the court. They have home-court advantage. And they’re in grave trouble, at least in large part…
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Another Wizards-Hawks game bringeth much fruit in the relatively bland Paul Millsap-Markieff Morris beef.
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Give credit to soft, washed, buster-ass piss-baby Paul Millsap, I suppose, for successfully whining this series into unwatchable whistle-ball, for that is all he accomplished. Despite the referees doing everything short of hogtying D.C.’s frontcourt on his behalf, his Hawks, entering the final days of their 71st…
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In the most entertaining individual performance of the NBA playoffs thus far, John Wall seemed hell-bent on proving that no perimeter defender on the Hawks can stay in front of him for longer than two seconds.
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