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Every so often, a play-by-play announcer will make a call that can’t be improved on—the kind that resonates years later, evoking all the drama and immediacy of a perfect and memorable moment. AGÜERRRROOO! … Auburn’s gonna win the football game! Auburn’s gonna win the football game! … In a year that has been so improbable, the impossible has happened.
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La La Land is not good. Actually it’s bad. It’s going to win a bunch of Oscars because it has Ryan Gosling in it, and Ryan Gosling is a handsome man who is understood to choose good roles in ambitious awards-y movies, and then to not make many facial expressions in those movies, in a style of acting that we are meant to understand is “understated,” for which you’re then meant to signal your appreciation as a way of indicating refined appreciation for refined things. I am fed up with this! It’s time for some Ryan Gosling Truth.
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Buccaneers RB Doug Martin revealed that he failed a drug test and will serve a four-game suspension, and announced that he’s entering rehab.
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The Buffalo Bills fired head coach Rex Ryan yesterday, and the camera was rolling as he slowly rolled away in his ostentatious pickup truck, painted in Bills colors, from the facilities.
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Last week the California Highway Patrol office up in snowy Truckee shared a photo of something I’d never seen before– snow traction devices that work like zip-ties. The cops used it to illustrate “what not to do” but the concept is actually pretty brilliant.
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When we weren’t busy watching sports contests, we listened to some stuff. Here are the best things we heard this year.
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2016 was the year prestige television finally heard the clarion call for gender egalitarianism in on-screen nudity—which is not to say they exactly heeded our demands of tit-for-chut, but they did show an unprecedented amount of male genitalia.
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The Buffalo Bills are heading into Week 17 with interim coach Anthony Lynn on the sideline and backup quarterback E.J. Manuel starting under center. It does not appear that the former had anything to do with putting the latter into the starting lineup.
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“The internet is going crazy over this insane optical illusion.” It’s the sentence that’s started a million blogs in the past and will continue to start a million blogs in the future—and for good reason. Because where the fuck are this girl’s legs?
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If the very worst happens, it won’t be because we didn’t know that it might happen. We have all been amply warned.
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An unfortunate reality of being a sports fan is watching strangers in whom you have an emotional investment for some reason get pummeled, concussed, have their knees blown out, and have their appendages bend in ways that make you scream. Remember Teddy Bridgewater? He somehow shredded his knee so badly that his teammates were puking on the practice field.
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If one of your new year’s resolutions is to finally start running, this Garmin GPS watch can track your routes, calories burned, heart rate…basically everything you need to shame yourself into going a little bit further. $160 is the best price Amazon’s ever listed, so I’d sprint over to the site to lock in your order.
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Prosecutors described in court yesterday a tattoo they say Aaron Hernandez got in early 2013, which they claim depicts the gun and five bullets Hernandez allegedly used to shoot and kill Daniel de Abreu and Safiro Furtado outside of a Boston nightclub in 2012.
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After Rudy Gobert missed two free throws in the final seconds of last night’s game between the Lakers and Jazz, D’Angelo Russell found himself with the ball in his hands, 13 seconds on the clock, and the chance to be a hero.
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The smallest Nespresso, fitness gear, and Xbox One S controllers lead off Wednesday’s best deals.
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This is a remarkable, remarkably unorthodox save from Marc-Andre Fleury in the Penguins’ 5-2 win in New Jersey last night. Adam Henrique’s shot was deflected by Ian Cole and bounced up and over Fleury, who made a diving, flailing rescue with the blade of his stick to alley-oop it out of danger.
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Warriors forward Draymond Green received a technical foul during Sunday’s game against the Cavaliers, his seventh of the season, and because he’s never really proven himself to be all that adept at self-control, he was asked what he needs to do to avoid further technicals by reporters yesterday.
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Lifehacker Five Questions to Ask in an Interview That Will Reveal a Lot About the Company | Jalopnik The Cops Don’t Like Your Zip-Tie Tire Chains | Kotaku How Frog Fractions 2 Stayed A Secret For Two Years | io9 Carrie Fisher Had Already Completed Her Work on Star Wars: Episode VIII |
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Beef! We’ve got beef! Fire up the grill and lay out your finest red checkered tablecloth, because the Rockets and the Mavericks engaged in some tender, juicy, USDA prime, high-marbled beef.
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2016 was a dumpster fire of a year, so maybe some retail therapy will help you be cautiously optimistic about 2017. Nordstrom Rack is ending their year with an extra 25% off all clearance items during their Clear the Rack sale. Get designer clothing for up to 90% off, or just stock up on some staples to help you get through the next year without strangling someone with a pair of jeans.
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Knicks president Phil Jackson and Lakers president Jeanie Buss, together since 1999 and engaged since 2012, are no longer together. Jackson announced the split in a tweet earlier tonight This is undoubtably a difficult time in both their lives. But we’ve got some observations and, frankly, some inferences about the limited information about their breakup and the way it’s been released.
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How about a little late-December baseball highlight to remind you that 2017 can’t be all bad? Pitchers and catchers report in just 47 days!
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Asked about how he thought the first half went for his Washington State Cougars, Mike Leach gave us his thoughts on bunting.
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Back in May, the former director of Russia’s anti-doping laboratory came forward with reports of widespread doping among Russian athletes at the 2014 Sochi Olympics. Grigory Rodchenkov, who had fled the country following a World Anti-Doping Agency investigation that implicated him, alleged that at least 15 of Russia’s 33 medal-winners from those Olympics had been involved.
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It looks like Samir Nasri took a quick trip to L.A. while Sevilla is on winter break. How relaxing: the sun, the sand, the IV vitamin therapy, the “full sexual service.”
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On Christmas, the Golden State Warriors blew a big fourth quarter lead against the Cleveland Cavaliers in their first Finals rematch game. The next day, the NBA admitted that the refs blew a couple big calls at the end of the game. This annoyed Kevin Durant, but not in the direction you might think:
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We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. What does it have in store for us?
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Just in case you missed the fluffiest controversy of the holiday weekend, former Steelers legend Terry Bradshaw went on TV and gave a not-so-glowing endorsement of Mike Tomlin:
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