The Browns Can't Possibly Fuck This Up…Right?

The consensus is that Myles Garrett will be the first pick in this month’s NFL draft, and that the Texas A&M DE can be a generational player. The consensus does not always turn out to be right, mind you—but it’s right more often than it’s wrong. The Cleveland Browns, picking No. 1, need just about everything, and…

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ESPN Columnist Accuses Fellow ESPNer Bill Barnwell Of Secretly Consulting For The Browns

Tony Grossi—a former longtime Cleveland Browns beat writer and current talking head on ESPN 850 WKNR and contributor to ESPN Cleveland—wrote this morning on ESPN.com about the Browns’ upcoming decision with the number one draft pick, and how “analytics complicate it.” Minutes before the publication of this post the…

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God Help Them, The Cleveland Browns Are Trying To Outsmart The NFL

Reaction to the Cleveland Browns’ surprising trade with the Houston Texans for Brock Osweiler Thursday ran the gamut from fulsome praise to “Bill Polian Yells At Cloud.” Cleveland indeed waded into new territory (for the NFL) by using its extraordinary surplus of salary cap space to essentially trade for a higher…

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Cleveland Browns GM Unintentionally Burns Newly Acquired QB Brock Osweiler 

It’s been a bad day for Brock Osweiler. The Houston Texans, who signed him to a massive four-year, $72 million deal one year ago, traded him to the Cleveland Browns along with a second-round pick this afternoon. Then, in case there was any confusion about just how much nobody wants Brock Osweiler, Browns GM Sashi…

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Behold, A Chance For Me To Learn How To Use Sports To Talk To Guys

It would be impossible to critique every glitter-drenched corporate attempt to condescendingly “teach” women “sports.” We don’t have enough time left on this planet. But every once in a while, there’s one so bad that it demands our attention, so here’s one: “How to Use Sports to Talk to Guys,” a workshop promising a room full of Cleveland Browns players, specialty cocktails and lessons on “ways to incorporate sports into conversations.” All for just $50!

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