english premier league

Middlesbrough Nutmegged Back To The Championship

Middlesbrough will be relegated after a three-goal performance by Chelsea that saw keeper Brad Guzan earn a nutmeg hat trick. We’ve all had days like this.

Crystal Palace Fans Serenade Lame Duck Arsenal Boss, Beg Him To Stay With His Team

Seven points behind fourth place (albeit with two games in hand), Arsenal really needed to win away at Crystal Palace today. Instead Andros Townsend scored a squibber, Yohan Cabaye knocked in a banger, and third-choice goalkeeper Emiliano Martinez pulled down Townsend in the box, leading to a Luka Milivojevic penalty…

Marc Albrighton Free Kick Stunner Caps Wild Opening Ten MInutes Of Everton-Leicester City

Four goals have been scored in the first 24 minutes of today’s Everton-Leicester City match, but none more impressive than Marc Albrighton’s free kick that beat Joel Robles in the tenth minute. That’s after a streaking Kevin Mirallas set up Tom Davies in the opening minute to give Everton a short-lived lead, and Islam…

Now, If Only Liverpool Could Stop Losing To Minnows

On consecutive days in August, Liverpool defeated Barcelona 4-0 and lost to Mainz 0-4 in exhibition matches. Seven months later, it is clear those results were an eerie foreshadowing of how Liverpool’s season would play out.

What A Ricochet

André Ayew’s equalizer for West Ham came after the most fortunate of rebounds.

It's Better To Be Lucky Than Good

Craig Dawson brought West Brom back equal by carefully exerting mind control over Bournemouth’s Charlie Daniels in order to create a wonderfully-bending deflection goal. He should use that superpower more often.

Manchester City Supporters Praise Jesus After Stoppage-Time Goal

Manchester City pulled out a win over Swansea City after Jesus showed no mercy to keeper Łukasz Fabiański and knocked in a rebound in the 92nd minute to give the home supporters a 2-1 win to go crazy about.

Eden Hazard Makes Arsenal Look Like Children

Chelsea doubled its lead on Arsenal early in the second half as Eden Hazard wove his way past a Gunners squad apparently completely made up of the family members of neighboring Mr. Bean.

Ryan Mason Stable And Speaking After Breaking His Skull Going Up For A Header

Just 13 minutes into Hull City’s Premier League match against Chelsea yesterday, Hull midfielder Ryan Mason went up for a header in the box. Chelsea defender Gary Cahill rushed to intercept the ball, but instead, he smashed into Mason’s head, immediately sending him to the ground.

Reports: Diego Costa Dropped From Lineup, Told To Take His Ass To China

Current Premier League leaders Chelsea are headed to Leicester to play the defending champions this weekend, but they’ll reportedly do so without leading scorer Diego Costa. Things were going so well for Costa just a week ago, but according to a series of reports, Costa and manager Antonio Conte did some rowing.

When Your Mate's Knackered And You Can't Be Arsed To Knock Him Up

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Can Anyone In The Premier League Catch Chelsea?

Chelsea had a rough September. After starting out their first EPL season under Antonio Conte with three up-and-down wins, they tied lowly Swansea, then lost two in a row to Liverpool and Arsenal. With both of those teams resurgent and Manchester City rounding into form under Pep Guardiola, it appeared that Chelsea’s goose was more or less cooked two months into the season. The Premier League is outlandishly competitive and coaches can get shitcanned over a bad two weeks without hesitation.