Magic Forced To Reassure Aaron Gordon Over Dumb, Embarrassing Whiteboard Trade Idea

What do you suppose Orlando Magic head coach Frank Vogel and, uh, star(?) forward Aaron Gordon talked about today, at their meeting—reported by the Orlando Sentinel’s Josh Robbins—about the sudden viral-photo-sparked rumor that the organization might be hoping to trade Gordon for Philadelphia 76ers rookie forward…

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Nobody Trusts The Process More Than America's Most Prominent Young Socialists

In April of last year, Philadelphia right-wing talk radio host and Daily News columnist Dom Giordano cooked up a hot take comparing now former Philadelphia 76ers general manager Sam Hinkie to Bernie Sanders. It ended with an almost Breitbartian non sequitur: “Hinkie robbed area basketball fans of three years of…

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Bring On The Ben Simmons Point Guard Experiment

The Philadelphia 76ers are wrapping up another losing season, one in which prized rookie Joel Embiid played just 31 games and number one overall draft pick Ben Simmons never even hit the floor. All that’s left to determine is whether Embiid will win rookie of the year on the back of just 40 percent of a season (in…

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Sixers Broadcast Roughly As Dysfunctional As Sixers Team

A power blip in Philadelphia tonight left Comcast SportsNet a bit baffled as hosts blathered amongst themselves about what was happening, going almost a full minute before realizing that they were live on the air—teaching us all that The Process is not automated.

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Now Let Us Heap Scorn Upon The NBA Trade Deadline Fuck-Ups

So the NBA trade deadline was a big dud, again. It featured one blockbuster deal—the New Orleans Pelicans just straight-up robbing the Sacramento Kings for DeMarcus Cousins—and then a handful of minor deals, none of which seem likely to shake up the standings all that much. That’s butt.

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Joel Embiid Considered Quitting Basketball When He Was Injured

Within the limited minutes he’s allowed, Joel Embiid has proven himself one of the finest two-way rookies in recent memory, but it bears remembering why he’s a rookie at all. Embiid was already hurt when the Sixers drafted him with the third pick in 2014, and he continued to struggle with right foot injuries for two…

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No One Knows What The Sixers Are Doing With Jahlil Okafor

As hot as the 76ers were in January, this is not the season for them to be good. It’s the season to develop their good young players (Joel Embiid, maybe Ben Simmons) and to see about trading those who are expendable for their future (uh, just about everyone else). Well, Embiid and Simmons are hurt—with strangely…

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This Is What Ads Will Look Like On NBA Jerseys

Advertisements on NBA jerseys were inevitable, and we just got our first glimpse of the logos that will appear on the upper-left corners of jerseys starting in the 2017-2018 season, when the league begins its apparel deal with Nike. Here’s a look at the Celtics, Kings, and Sixers uniforms, courtesy of sentient press…

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Joel Embiid Is A Historically Good Rookie

Joel Embiid is the truth. Though The Process has yet to enjoy full, starter-type playing time—he’s on a 28-minute restriction to protect his health, and rides the bench for back-to-backs—he’s posting eyebrow-raising numbers in his 25.2 minutes per game. The flashiest figure might be his scoring per 36 minutes: 28.0…

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DeMarcus Cousins Really, Really Likes Joel Embiid

DeMarcus Cousins and Joel Embiid went at each other all night in an entertaining battle of the bigs as the Kings beat the Sixers 102-100. Cousins’ 30-7-5 stat line just topped Embiid’s 25-8-1, and judging by the jovial butt slaps and Boogie’s comments after the game, our two protagonists had just as much fun playing against each other as fans had watching it:

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Nerlens Noel And The Sixers Are Reaching A Breaking Point

Before the Sixers’ season even started, Nerlens Noel understood that there were too many large dudes in Philly and too few good ideas about what to do with them. But because Noel has been recovering from knee surgery, it was only last Friday that the Sixers had to confront this nauseating truth head-on, as they finally played their trio of true centers in the same game. The initial results were bleak. Joel Embiid, maybe the most promising of the bunch, got awkwardly shifted to power forward to make room for Jahlil Okafor, and Noel played an uneventful eight minutes, letting let some of his dissatisfaction spill out into public view: “I mean, I’m too good to be playing eight minutes … that’s crazy, that’s crazy, that’s crazy. Need to figure that shit out. Fuck it,” he told reporters after a 100-89 loss to the Lakers.

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Nerlens Noel On 76ers' Center Situation: “Need To Figure That Shit Out”

Three months ago, Nerlens Noel said that he had no idea how the Philadelphia 76ers were going to handle having three true centers on the roster. Now, he knows how they’re handling it—by playing him a whole lot less. And he’s pissed, as he told reporters after last night’s loss to the Los Angeles Lakers:

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