True Rich Asshole Meets With True Rich Asshole

Rob Manfred arrived at Trump Tower this morning for a confirmed meeting with our impending National Disaster. As the billionaire face of a group of billionaire owners who recently opened a new D.C. lobbying branch, Manfred fit right in amongst the other off-the-record meetings Trump has been holding. But, just in…

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Tennis Match Turns Into A Contest Of Who Can Retire First

Sachia Vickery (ranked No. 135) and Elise Mertens (ranked No. 127) are set to play qualifiers later this week to try and earn slots in the main draw of the Australian Open. That’s a Grand Slam, a far more alluring attraction than the Hobart International, where these two met in the second round yesterday. What do…

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How Sports' Idiotic War On Drugs Might've Helped Give Us President Trump

It begins with the cyclists, of course. Just before the 1998 Tour de France, a Belgian trainer named Willy Voet was arrested while crossing the border into France because his car was filled with a tremendous amount of performance-enhancing drugs. The subsequent investigation (which became known as the Festina Affair)…

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Dolphins Fan Barfs On His Pizza, Has A Generally Terrible Playoff Game Experience

Enduring a Pittsburgh winter in the open stands as your beloved Dolphins get their doors blown off in the playoffs is unpleasant enough, but barfing on top of your uneaten stadium pizza is, well, the puke on top of the uneaten stadium pizza that was this fan’s day.

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That Was A Very Bad Night For The Knicks

It’s been more than 12 hours since the New York Knicks lost track of Derrick Rose, and at this point all we have to go on are reports from ESPN that he went back to Chicago to deal with a “family situation” after yesterday’s morning shoot around. Things are suddenly feeling very bleak in Madison Square Garden.

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Boy, Ben Boulware Really Went To Town On That Thing

Clemson senior LB and Ben Boulware shared a moment—maybe a little longer than a moment—with the CFP trophy after Clemson’s thrilling win over Alabama. You can’t rush these things. Trophies need time to get warmed up, and it also helps if they’re relaxed, and comfortable, and are genuinely into you. Be responsive! Ask…

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How Deshaun Watson's National Championship Performance Effects DeShone Kizer's NFL Draft Stock

After the best performance of his career in the biggest game of his college campaign, how much did Deshaun Watson jump in NFL Draft Boards?DeShone Kizer and Mitch Trubisky were the first two quarterbacks taken off the board in Slap the Sign’s 2017 NFL Mock Draft 1.0. But after one of the best…

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