FIFA Opens Investigation Into Paul Pogba's Transfer To Manchester United

According to reports, FIFA has decided to investigate last summer’s record-breaking transfer of Paul Pogba from Juventus to Manchester United. It’s not clear which aspect of the deal piqued FIFA’s suspicions, but presumably it has something to do with recent reports about the transfer and Pogba’s contractual terms.

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José Mourinho Needs To Win The Europa League He Once Disdained 

José Mourinho, the manager who just a few seasons ago said, “I don’t want to win the Europa League. It would be a big disappointment for me. I don’t want my players to feel the Europa League is our competition,” is now desperate to win the Europa League. And after today’s 1-0 first-leg semifinal win over Celta Vigo,…

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Report: Knee Injury Will Keep Zlatan Ibrahimović Out For Rest Of Season

Zlatan Ibrahimović, Manchester United’s ageless striker, hyperextended his knee in yesterday’s Europa League match against Anderlecht. It looked like a bad injury in live time, and indeed it appears it was: Sky Sports is reporting that the injury is likely to end Ibrahimović’s season early.

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Chill Teen Marcus Rashford Saves Manchester United's Ass

It was a little over a year ago when we were first introduced to Marcus Rashford, then a largely unknown Manchester United youth teamer who was called on to rescue United in the Europa League. His heroic performance that day augured well for the young striker, and Rashford has only continued bolstering his reputation…

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All The Dumb Paul Pogba Haters Need To Check Out This Outrageous Pass 

Yes, yes, this is just a single play. One pass doesn’t prove a player is good or consistent or any of the other positive traits needed to attain elite status. But just look at this ridiculous heat seaker of a pass and try to argue, as many have done this season, that Paul Pogba isn’t awesome:

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Zlatan Ibrahimović And His Mountain-Sized Ego Give A Great Interview

As everyone should know by now, Zlatan Ibrahimović’s arrogance is unreal. For more proof, take the short interview above, in which the big Swede declares himself a lion, explains why he doesn’t compare himself to the other strikers in the Premier League by saying “lions, they don’t compare themselves with humans,” and…

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Everton Score Stupid Goal, Manchester United Get Late Penalty, Both Go Home Unhappy

Today’s Manchester United-Everton game could’ve been a big deal to either team. If Everton won, they would’ve leapt over Arsenal and United to take the fifth spot in the table, just five points behind Man City in fourth; while they still would’ve had basically no realistic shot of finishing in the top four, they…

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Wayne Rooney's Potential Return To Everton Actually Makes Lots Of Sense

It’s long felt inevitable that one of these days Everton’s prodigal son Wayne Rooney would return home. Judging from a report in the Independent that quotes sources close to Everton and Manchester United as believing the move is “likely to happen” this summer, we might be mere months away from seeing Rooney back in…

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Would You Eat A Peeled Banana That Other People Touched?

Manchester United’s Marcos Rojo brought a glimmer of excitement to an otherwise dull afternoon of Europa League soccer by eating a banana. United was up 1-0 over Rostov in the second leg of the round of 16, when Rojo, apparently, felt like he was cramping up and requested a nanner.

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Paul Pogba Is Good

If the statement in the headline of this post—Paul Pogba is good—seems ridiculous to you, too trivially obvious to be worth saying, then you’re in luck, because it means you haven’t had your mind numbed by some of the predictably over-the-top criticism he has been subject to since joining the Premier League, the…

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Jose Mourinho Talks More Shit, Says "Judas Is No. 1"

Nothing—not losing, not winning, and certainly not cascading jeers from fans of his former club—will stop Jose Mourinho from talking heaps of trash. The man simply cannot help himself. On Monday, the fighting words came after Manchester United’s 1-0 loss to Chelsea in the FA Cup quarterfinal, during which Chelsea…

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Tiny Russian Boy Meets José Mourinho, Can't Contain His Joy

If you’d like to see what the sentence “Oh my god, this is the coolest thing that has ever happened to me!” looks like when played out in real life, this Russian kid’s reaction to seeing José Mourinho in the tunnel before yesterday’s Rostov-Manchester United match will do the trick:

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Manchester United Experience Glories Of Europa League On Rostov's Rock-Hard Pitch

Europa League staples Manchester United should probably be used to the particular quirks of Europe’s JV competition by now, but it still has to suck to step onto your opponent’s pitch—in this case, Russian club Rostov’s—the day before a match and realize just how awful playing surfaces can be.

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After Getting His Head Stomped On, Zlatan Ibrahimović Explains Elbowing Tyrone Mings: "It Was Unlucky He Jumped Into My Elbow"

Both Tyrone Mings and Zlatan Ibrahimović somehow avoided penalties after swapping some nasty plays in Manchester United and Bournemouth’s 1-1 draw today. After first clashing when Ibrahimović seemingly pushed Mings to the ground, things really got heated just before halftime when Ibrahimović tripped and Mings stomped…

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Zlatan Ibrahimovic Free Kick Stunner Opens League Cup Final Scoring For Manchester United

Zlatan Ibrahimovic is back to doing Zlatan Ibrahimovic things, as he provided Manchester United a 1-0 lead in today’s League Cup final against Southampton with a free kick of absolute perfection. Give this man the serum that will let him play forever, please.

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Zlatan Ibrahimović Scores Hat Trick, Is Dad

Today in Manchester United’s Europa League knockout match against Saint-Étienne, Zlatan Ibrahimović scored about the most unremarkable hat trick you’re likely to see. A poorly taken free kick that deflected in, a tap-in off a rebound, and a penalty. But the goals, bland as they were, aren’t the point. The point is…

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Henrikh Mkhitaryan Was Offside But Who Cares Because This Goal Was Dope

Photo credit: Dave Thompson/AP

Henrikh Mkhitaryan has only gotten a handful of Premier League starts this season, a fact that has given United fans good reason to grumble. After you see the goal he scored against Sunderland today, you’ll understand why they want him on the pitch more often.

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