england – blog

What Is Wrong With The English

The nightmare you see above is the birthday dinner of choice not for a random insane person, but for 42-year-old multimillionaire global celebrity sports icon David Beckham, who could have virtually anything in the world to eat. He chose this. Beans, some kind of sad approximation of fries, ham, not one but two…

UK Tax Authorities Raid West Ham And Newcastle

Newcastle’s addiction to buying French players has finally caught up with the club. DeAndre Yedlin’s soon-to-be promoted club and Premier League club West Ham are both the subject of an investigation by the HM Revenue and Customs office, the UK’s tax authority, for alleged tax fraud. Newcastle boss Rafa Benitez …

Lukas Podolski's Last Goal For Germany Was A Poetic Banger

In Lukas Podolski’s last appearance for Germany’s national team, the former Arsenal man, corner kick extraordinaire, and guy known for absolutely crushing the ball, launched a rocket into the top right corner in the 69th minute to beat England 1-0 in the friendly. It was the perfect final goal for the 31-year-old…

Italian Soccer Guy Playing In England Misses Pasta And The Sun

Italy’s Andrea Ranocchia joined Premier League stragglers Hull City this season, hoping to work his way back on to the Italian national team. In the meantime, he’s doing his best to adjust to life in England, but there a couple things from Italy he really misses. Namely, pasta and sunshine.

Dance Like Nobody's Watching

These Englishmen are enjoying their first exposure to direct sunlight.

With 90th Minute Goal, England Beats U.S. Women's National Team For First Time On American Soil

The U.S. women’s national team lost to England for the first time ever on home soil, giving up a goal in the 90th minute to fall 1-0 in their second match of the SheBelieves Cup, the team’s only major international competition of the year.

Keeper Gets Way Too Mad About Giving Up Goal

Even way down in the ninth tier of English soccer, players do not like to lose. Case in point: Cray Valley Paper Mills FC goalkeeper Jordan Carey’s reaction to this Ashford United goal:

Newcastle Lucks Into Unbelievably Dumb Golazo

Sometimes you bang in a golazo by spinning through a box full of defenders and hitting the ball perfectly. Other times you just sort of stand there and let the ball hit you and it goes in anyway. Soccer is dumb like that. Case in point: this goal from Newcastle.

Italy Exploited An Insane Rugby Loophole, Enraging England

Italy’s national rugby team has never beaten England. The Italians have played the English 23 times and they’ve lost 23 times. This weekend, England beat Italy, 36-15, in the Six Nations Championship, just as everyone expected they would. However, the unsurprising outcome of the game belies the controversial tactics…

British Police Have Identified Over 500 Potential Victims Of Sexual Abuse In Soccer

Britain’s National Police Chiefs’ Council has released an update on the widespread investigation into sexual abuse in British soccer and the numbers are staggering. According to the NPCC, there are: