DeMarcus Ware, One Of His Era's Most Dominating Edge Rushers, Has Retired

Broncos defensive end DeMarcus Ware is retiring from the NFL after 12 seasons, nine Pro Bowl appearances, and 138.5 sacks. He announced the move this afternoon, citing concerns over his long-term health. Ware played nine seasons for the Cowboys and finished up his career with three more seasons in Denver. He only…

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Manny Ramirez's New Contract With Japanese Team Grants Unlimited Sushi And Optional Practices

Oh, to have been a fly on the wall for the negotiations of Manny Ramirez’s new contract with the Japanese independent league Kochi Island Fighting Dogs, which reportedly grants optional practices, a chauffeured Mercedes, a private hotel suite for road games, a jersey that says “Manny” on the back, and, most…

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Brazilian Soccer Guy Who Ordered His Ex Tortured To Death Signs With New Team

Bruno de Souza is the latest player signed by second-tier Brazilian side Boa Esporte. He’s made his name tending goal for prominent Brazilian teams like Flamengo and Atlético Mineiro—and also for being sentenced in 2013 to 22 years in prison after he was found guilty of arranging the murder of Eliza Samudio, his…

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Jose Mourinho Talks More Shit, Says "Judas Is No. 1"

Nothing—not losing, not winning, and certainly not cascading jeers from fans of his former club—will stop Jose Mourinho from talking heaps of trash. The man simply cannot help himself. On Monday, the fighting words came after Manchester United’s 1-0 loss to Chelsea in the FA Cup quarterfinal, during which Chelsea…

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Here Are Some Photographs of Donald Trump's Face and Hand

Today, Donald Trump held a listening session on healthcare. As everyone has only just recently learned, healthcare is actually very complicated. Who knew? (No one.) And because President Trump was discussing such a complicated topic, he repeatedly placed his hand on and around his face in consternation. Here are some…

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All Hell Breaks Loose As Players, Fans Brawl On Pitch During Brazilian Soccer Game

Early on in this video, you’ll think you have some understanding of just how insane the action got during Sunday’s Gama-Brasiliense soccer match in Brazil. But then you’ll get to the part where a few fans take a break from a punchy tug-of-war to strip another fan of all his clothes, save his underwear, while kicking…

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Nicki Minaj Is Out To Prove She's Better Than Remy Ma, And That Hip-Hop Is Dead

It’s a little sad that the latest high-profile edition of that classic, beloved hip-hop tradition—the rap beef—is yet more evidence of just how far the culture has fallen. Nicki Minaj and Remy Ma, two inarguably talented and entertaining rappers, have been going after each other on record for weeks, and regardless of…

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My Shit Always Breaks On The Eve Of Blizzards

On Saturday, my housemate tried cooking some zucchini, only to realize that our gas oven wasn’t working. We looked around for a pilot light but couldn’t find one. Some googling led us to believe we have an electric igniter system that needs replacement, and also that our oven was manufactured in 1991 and there is no…

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Unsurprisingly, Jim Harbaugh Is A Hardass When It Comes To Family Pickup Basketball

On the latest episode of The MMQB Podcast, Peter King talks to Ravens head coach John Harbaugh about his relationship with his brother, Jim. The older Harbaugh shares a story about a pick-up basketball game the two brothers played with their families while on vacation, and it sounds like Jim had an extra glass of…

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