I'm Still Laughing At That LeBron James Performance

It didn’t take long for LeBron James to demonstrate just how little of a chance the Boston Celtics have at advancing to the NBA Finals. After getting his first two buckets of the night by blowing right by Jae Crowder—exactly the kind of brawny forward people have spent years tricking themselves into believing can…

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LeBron And The Cavs Broke The Celtics

Somehow, Marcus Smart, Kelly Olynyk, and Avery Bradley were not enough to stop the Cleveland Cavaliers or even slow them down very much. The final score was not that imposing, as the Cavs won just 117-104, but Cleveland emotionally disemboweled the Celtics early and turned the entire second half into a soggy…

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Seems Like LeBron Is Ready For The Finals

LeBron James spent the first half of Game 1 destroying the Celtics. He was the best player on the court to such a comical degree, and watching him and the Cavs roll through the weak-ass Celtics was like watching an older sibling pull the “Stop hitting yourself!” routine. LeBron went for 23 points, five boards, and…

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The Wizards Are Dead And Kelly Olynyk Killed Them

Thanks to a big night from oafish backup center guy Kelly Olynyk, the Boston Celtics took Game 7 from the Washington Wizards tonight, 115-105, and won the honor of trying to stop LeBron James and the Cavs. They will probably not fare that well, but whatever, this is their night.

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John Wall Kills Celtics With Perfectly Placed Dagger

Down two, five seconds left, season in the balance, the charred end of a night when his team hit 20-percent of its three-point attempts, a postseason in which home teams facing elimination were 0-10, the best defender on the East’s top seed staring him in the face, ladies and gentlemen, I give you Johnathan Hildred…

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Oh Right, They're The Wizards

What’s that, you say? After two consecutive dominant performances at home, the Wizards showed up flat and dazed-looking for a hugely important road game and got their asses kicked through the roofs of their mouths? Why in that case, it must have been literally any time the Wizards have played an important road game

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This Is What It Sounds Like When An Entire Arena Hates You

Wizards youngster Kelly Oubre probably didn’t go into the playoffs expecting to be at the center of a big postseason storyline, but then he went and body-checked Kelly Olynyk in Game 3. After serving a one-game suspension while the Wizards played at home in Game 4, Oubre got back on the court in Boston last night, and…

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The 2008 Celtics Went On TV And Whined About Ray Allen

The stars of the 2008 Boston Celtics are, somehow, still mad at former teammate Ray Allen for leaving Boston in 2012 and signing with the Miami Heat. They are not only so mad about it that they didn’t invite Allen to their 10-year anniversary party, but so mad that they went on national TV last night to talk about how…

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John Wall Is Too Much

In his “Coach’s Corner” bit after the first quarter of last night’s Game 4 between the Celtics and the Wizards, Boston coach Brad Stevens explained to TNT’s David Aldridge how his team had shrugged off an early Washington run to end the period leading 24-20. “Even when it was 8-0 them,” he said, “we were playing way…

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If Kelly Oubre Jr. Is Suspended, It Will Be Because He Was Honest

First of all, as a basketball euphemism, physical play is bullshit. Everything that happens on a basketball court is physical play. A bounce-pass is a physical play. When broadcast crews and halftime pundits and bloggers say that one team is playing more physical than the other, particularly in the playoffs, what they…

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Isaiah Thomas Will Beat You And Then Embarrass You

This isn’t meant to denigrate Isaiah Thomas, who fucked the Wizards all the way up last night and is proving himself to be the True Superstar nobody thought the Celtics had, but oh my God, can you imagine how aggravating it must be to get 53 points dropped on you by a guy who is about the size of Tom Cruise?

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Some Basketball Stuff Bradley Beal Did Last Night

The Boston Celtics won a game in which they trailed for pretty much all but a few moments of regulation, to take a 2-0 lead in their best-of-seven Eastern Conference semifinal series against the Washington Wizards. Celtics guard Isaiah Thomas was unstoppable in the fourth quarter and overtime, scoring 29 of his 53…

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Holy Shit, Isaiah Thomas

The Wizards tried everything against Isaiah Thomas tonight. They threw taller defenders at him, they tried trapping him on pick-and-rolls, they tried switching on him, they tried hitting him. Nothing worked. The puny Celtics star got into the best point guard duel of the playoffs with John Wall and came out on the…

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The Wizards Absolutely Dominated In The First Quarter

The Wizards are not here to fuck around. They opened Game 1 of their second-round series against the Celtics with a ridiculous 16-0 run, starting things off with 7-of-10 shooting while outrebounding Boston 9-0. That was due in large part to Marcin Gortat, who scored nine and looked better than he did in any part of…

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Does Isaiah Thomas Carry The Ball? A Fred Hoiberg Debate

After a Game 4 loss, Bulls coach Fred Hoiberg accused refs of ignoring Isaiah Thomas’s carrying. “He had a hell of a game tonight. But when you’re allowed to discontinue your dribble on every possession, he is impossible to guard. He’s impossible to guard when you’re able to put your hand underneath the ball and take…

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The Celtics Have Righted The Ship

The first four games of the Celtics-Bulls series made no sense. The road team won all four games and season-long trends gave way to puzzling single-game outcomes. Celtics winger Jaylen Brown hardly saw the court despite a solid rookie season. Rajon Rondo spent all year switching back and forth between starter and…

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Rajon Rondo On Whether He Tripped Jae Crowder From The Bench: I Was Just Stretching

A few hours after the Bulls announced that Rajon Rondo would be out indefinitely with a fractured thumb, he managed to grab some attention from the bench in Game 3. In Chicago’s 104-87 loss to Boston, Rondo at one point extended his leg in what appeared to be an attempt to trip Jae Crowder as the Celtics small forward…

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Just What The Hell Is Going On In This Celtics-Bulls Series?

A few caveats: The Celtics should have never been a one seed in the first place, and only found themselves atop the Eastern Conference by default because the Cavs decided to play the second half of the season on horse tranquilizers. They are a solid but flawed team lacking in the kind of star power that can cover up…

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