FIFA's Four-Match Suspension Of Lionel Messi Overturned On Appeal

A little over a month ago, some snitches in the Chile soccer federation ratted out Lionel Messi for saying some mildly harsh words to a referee after an international match. FIFA suspended Messi for four matches in response, endangering Argentina’s chances to qualify for the World Cup and threatening to deprive all…

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José Mourinho Needs To Win The Europa League He Once Disdained 

José Mourinho, the manager who just a few seasons ago said, “I don’t want to win the Europa League. It would be a big disappointment for me. I don’t want my players to feel the Europa League is our competition,” is now desperate to win the Europa League. And after today’s 1-0 first-leg semifinal win over Celta Vigo,…

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An Afghan-German Soccer Player Was Detained in a U.S. Airport for Hours With No Explanation

When Haley Carter, one of Mena Ahmadi’s coaches on the Afghanistan women’s national soccer team, said that she was worried Ahmadi would be detained at the airport on an upcoming trip to the United States, Ahmadi laughed it off. While she was the daughter of Afghan refugees, she had been born in Germany and was a…

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Cristiano Ronaldo Gutted Atlético Madrid

Cristiano Ronaldo has a penchant for doing only two or three things in any given game, but those two or three things usually end up being the most important things. That’s exactly what happened today, when Ronaldo scored a hat trick today against Atlético Madrid. His second was the prettiest, when he stared down an…

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May The Soccer Gods Bless Atlético Madrid, Who Deserve To Win The Champions League

O ye mighty Soccer Gods, how blessed are we, the fans of the sport you so nobly watch over! You’ve given us over a decade of The One, your favorite son, the one and only Lionel Messi, and we have praised you for it! In recent times, you saw fit to grant us arguably the greatest team feat of all time, guiding poor,…

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Cesc Fàbregas Really Does Have Eyes In The Back Of His Head

If you’ve ever wondered how the world’s most spatially aware players always seem to know exactly where everyone is on the pitch at all times, then this video of Cesc Fàbregas and his rubber neck should go a long way towards explaining that yes, these guys truly can see everything at all times:

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Happiness Is Watching Mario Balotelli Drive PSG Insane

Mario Balotelli’s Nice hosted Paris Saint-Germain this weekend in what was a hugely important match in the Ligue 1 title race. Nice did what they’ve done all year and upset the odds by whooping up on PSG by a score of 3-1, and Balotelli scored a pretty goal to kick off the beatdown. By the end of the match, PSG were…

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