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Please No One Tell Joe Scarborough That No One Would Care About His Band If He Weren't On TV

It would absolutely break his heart if you told Morning Joe’s Joe Scarborough that no one would go see his bad band perform if it weren’t for the fact that his real job is hosting a television show, so please, no one tell him.

Jake Peavy Had A Truly Terrible 2016

Jake Peavy’s 2016 season ended with a career-worst 5.54 ERA, a 1.43 WHIP, and divorce papers. According to ESPN’s Jerry Crasnick, Peavy’s wife Katie, a childhood friend he married at 19 years old, filed for divorce in October, right after the Giants were eliminated in the NLDS by the Cubs.

The Next Dota Major Is Already Running Into Issues

The Kiev Major, the second and final major of the Dota 2 season before the next International (Dota 2’s world cup), is facing a raft of problems. Travel issues, ticket scalpers, and changing dates are dredging up ghosts of majors past.

Welcome To Compete

Welcome to Compete, a joint venture between Deadspin and Kotaku dedicated to covering the best, worst, dumbest, most thrilling, most interesting, and, generally, the most stupefying—in the better and worse senses of the word—in esports and competitive gaming. We’re just getting started here, but hope to make this a…

This Letter Is Capitalism's Dream And America's Nightmare

One of the many terrifying aspects of having Donald Trump as president is that he, like all children, is very easily persuaded. Single meetings and conversations can shape his entire, pliable worldview. The wolves of corporate America know what easy prey looks like.

Leicester City Have Fired Title-Winning Manager Claudio Ranieri

Leicester City manager Claudio Ranieri, the architect of the greatest, most shocking, I-still-can’t-believe-it-happened-even-though-it-definitely-did championship victory in the history of sports, has reportedly been fired today.

Thunder Acquire Taj Gibson And Doug McDermott For Cameron Payne

The Oklahoma City Thunder have acquired Taj Gibson and Doug McDermott from the Chicago Bulls, in exchange for Cameron Payne, Joffrey Lauvergne, and a second round pick, reports Brian Windhorst.

Trump Makes Thirsty Business Asshole Tell Flattering Golf Story

Here’s Day-Glo leatherette Cialis tote Donald Trump, in a meeting with various manufacturing executive types, prodding General Electric CEO Jeffrey Immelt to tell the story of the time Trump boasted about being a rich person who plays golf (probably true) and then hit a hole-in-one on his own golf course (hmmmmm).

Vikings GM provides rare update on QB Teddy Bridgewater's recovery

Bridgewater is just working to get his knee back to ‘functional’

Charles Oakley To Attend His First Post-Arrest Knicks Game In Cleveland Tonight

Dan Gilbert is a piece of shit—a slave master mentality-having grifter with skin as thick as tracing paper. That said, let’s laugh at this funny thing he’s doing by reportedly inviting Charles Oakley to tonight’s Cavaliers-Knicks game.

Report: Fox Sports 1 Will Get Rid Of The Good Parts

Fox Sports 1, a network aiming to build its programming around as many washed-up zoilists as possible, will reportedly get rid of two shows that didn’t sufficiently delve into the topic of cyber-humans.

Jerry vs. Kurt: Cowboys to face Cardinals in hall game

CANTON, Ohio (AP) Dallas and Arizona will play in the Hall of Fame game on Aug. 3.

Cardinals, Cowboys to meet in 2017 Hall of Fame Game

The Cardinals will take on the Cowboys in the Pro Football Hall of Fame Game on Aug. 3.

Cowboys, Cardinals to kick off NFL preseason in Hall of Fame game

Only 161 days until football returns!

Houston Texans: 5 Non-Tony Romo Quarteback Options to Consider

The Houston Texans are in a quarterback bind and need to consider all of their options, not just Tony Romo of the Dallas Cowboys.While the news that Tony Romo has an interest in coming to the Houston Texans was like a breath of fresh air for the team, the Texans cannot put all of their eggs in one…

"I Make Women Bud And Bloom": An Afternoon With Jane Fonda's Lousy First Husband

This piece was originally published in The Chicago Tribune in the late 1960s and can be found in the collection, Latins Are Still Lousy Lovers. It appears here with permission from the author’s estate.

Jerry vs. Kurt: Cowboys to face Cardinals in hall game (Yahoo Sports)

CANTON, Ohio (AP) — Dallas and Arizona will play in the Hall of Fame game on Aug. 3.

Does Bill Belichick need to win a Super Bowl without Tom Brady to validate himself?

Shannon Sharpe and Skip Bayless debate whether Bill Belichick gets enough credit.

Aaron Rodgers: Tom Brady didn't need Super Bowl LI to prove he's 'the G.O.A.T.'

Rodgers considers Brady the G.O.A.T., but that was the case before Super Bowl LI.

5 free agents the Buffalo Bills should target

What pieces will the Bills add in Sean McDermott’s first offseason?

Pittsburgh Steelers: Re-Signing James Harrison Only Means Good Things

There are numerous ways to describe Pittsburgh Steelers outside linebacker James Harrison. All told, the ageless veteran is simply relentless.Returning with a vengeance over the past three seasons, would anyone going to be surprised to see Pittsburgh Steelers outside linebacker James Harrison cont…

Aaron Hernandez's Attorneys Might Argue That Weed Made Him Violent

Opening arguments in the second Aaron Hernandez homicide trial begin next week and ahead of the start of the trial, his attorneys have filed a list of witnesses they might call or mention during the trial.

Please Enjoy This Extremely 1990 Photo

Report: Creighton's Maurice Watson Suspended While Police Investigate Sexual Assault

Creighton point guard Maurice Watson is currently being investigated by Omaha police for a sexual assault that occurred in early February, according to the Omaha World-Herald.

Philadelphia 76ers Trade Nerlens Noel To Dallas

The Dallas Mavericks have acquired 76ers big man Nerlens Noel, reports Adrian Wojnarowski. In return, Dallas will send Philadelphia Andrew Bogut, Justin Anderson, and a top 1-18 protected 2017 first-round draft pick.

Kei Nishikori Is Shook

Kei Nishikori is the fifth-best tennis player in the world and even his practice sessions get mobbed in his native Japan. His trademark shot is the down-the-line backhand, a smoothly flicked frozen rope. You might have last seen him in January taking Roger Federer to five sets in the quarters of the Australian Open.…

White Supremacist Punching Meme Richard Spencer Just Got Booted from CPAC

White supremacist roving haircut Richard Spencer dropped by the Conservative Political Action Conference on Thursday morning to yell about race and tweet sulkily about the event. He was on the grounds for about two hours before he was asked to leave by the American Conservative Union. Spencer was also asked last week…

Skip Bayless: The Redskins would be more dangerous with Tony Romo than Kirk Cousins

Should the Redskins commit to Kirk Cousins, or try to trade for an old rival?

Save $10 On Amazon's Most Popular Drill, and Get a Free Bonus Of Your Choice

It must be home improvement season, because Amazon’s been coming hard with the tool deals.

Premier League Ref: Arsène Wenger Told Me To "Fuck Off"

About a month ago, Arsène Wenger got himself a four-match touchline ban for his behavior in a league game between Arsenal and Burnley. We all knew part of the ban was because Wenger pushed the fourth official after being sent to the stands by the head referee, but we didn’t know what exactly he said to get himself…