How Sports' Idiotic War On Drugs Might've Helped Give Us President Trump

It begins with the cyclists, of course. Just before the 1998 Tour de France, a Belgian trainer named Willy Voet was arrested while crossing the border into France because his car was filled with a tremendous amount of performance-enhancing drugs. The subsequent investigation (which became known as the Festina Affair)…

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Dolphins Fan Barfs On His Pizza, Has A Generally Terrible Playoff Game Experience

Enduring a Pittsburgh winter in the open stands as your beloved Dolphins get their doors blown off in the playoffs is unpleasant enough, but barfing on top of your uneaten stadium pizza is, well, the puke on top of the uneaten stadium pizza that was this fan’s day.

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That Was A Very Bad Night For The Knicks

It’s been more than 12 hours since the New York Knicks lost track of Derrick Rose, and at this point all we have to go on are reports from ESPN that he went back to Chicago to deal with a “family situation” after yesterday’s morning shoot around. Things are suddenly feeling very bleak in Madison Square Garden.

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Boy, Ben Boulware Really Went To Town On That Thing

Clemson senior LB and Ben Boulware shared a moment—maybe a little longer than a moment—with the CFP trophy after Clemson’s thrilling win over Alabama. You can’t rush these things. Trophies need time to get warmed up, and it also helps if they’re relaxed, and comfortable, and are genuinely into you. Be responsive! Ask…

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It's Deshaun Watson's Time

This National Championship game felt familiar, Clemson slogging early against a world-class Alabama defense before, gradually, luring them into exactly the Tigers’ type of game: a shootout. (The only difference being, maybe, that this year the clock ran out with the score in Clemson’s favor.) The connective tissue…

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All the Vitamins You Need, and Plenty You Don't, Are On Sale On Amazon Today

Krill oil? D3? Omega 3? One-a-days? If you want vitamins, Amazon’s got vitamins, and dozens of them are deeply discounted in today’s Gold Box. You’ll find vitamins to help you sleep, vitamins to make you poop, and even vitamins to strengthen your hair and nails. Just note that like all Gold Box deals, these prices are…

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That Last Alabama Drive Was Terrifying

More than any other team in sports, Alabama football feels the most futile to root against. Over and over, they’ve stamped out nascent comebacks with two well-timed turnovers or turned a 14-10 game into a 28-10 game in two minutes of work. These are the sorts of ways you can win games when you’re bigger and faster…

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Clemson's National Championship-Winning Touchdown, As Heard On 8 Different Networks

Clemson capped off a national championship finish we’ll never forget with Hunter Renfrow’s touchdown catch with just one second remaining. Above is how it sounded on ESPN; below are how commentators on seven other networks—including Clemson radio—reacted to the play.

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Clemson Dethrones Alabama And Wins National Championship With Last-Second Touchdown

The National Championship rematch between Alabama and Clemson was just as fraught and close as 2016’s all-time classic, but unlike last year, it ended with Alabama getting their hearts ripped out and Clemson wining their first title since 1981.

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The ESPN Voices Feed Really Is Something

ESPN threw Bill Walton onto its ESPN Voices feed of tonight’s national championship game, and the basketball legend—clad in an Uncle Sam costume—has spent the game asking basic questions about which teams are playing, who the quarterbacks are, and where the game is being played all on top of other panelists’…

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This Is Not Targeting, Somehow?

Mike Williams hung on and got the first down here, but it cost him a huge shot from Alabama DB Tony Brown. There was no penalty called on the play, even if it appeared to be a fairly clear targeting violation. The Tigers held him out for the rest of the drive, but ESPN reported that he was medically cleared to return…

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The World Cup Is Probably Expanding To 48 Teams, But That Might Be Okay

The docket at the FIFA governing council’s meeting tomorrow morning in Zurich includes the following items: “Approval of the Media and Marketing Regulations for the FIFA Beach Soccer World Cup Bahamas 2017”; “Monitoring Committee Israel-Palestine”; as well as “Format of the 2026 FIFA World Cup.”

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Jordy Nelson Reportedly Has "At Least Two" Broken Ribs

Packers receiver Jordy Nelson spent last night in the hospital, thanks to the wallop in the side that Giants CB Leon Hall gave him while he was juggling a pass. Nelson was taken into the locker room and ruled out shortly after, but Packers coach Mike McCarthy said it was possible that he’d still suit up for the…

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Overwatch Heroes Ranked, According To Pornhub Searches

Overwatch porn is a damn phenomenon. Our original report on the scene was one of our biggest stories of last year, and “Overwatch” ended up outranking “anal” on Pornhub’s top 20 search terms of 2016. I was curious, though: which heroes are most popular among the porn-seeking masses? Hint: not Bastion.

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