I Hope The Beef Between Meyers Leonard And DeMarcus Cousins Lasts Forever

DeMarcus Cousins dropped 55 points on Tuesday, but not before dropping a platter of hot beef on Meyers Leonard’s lap. In the decisive seconds of the fourth quarter, he spun his way into a pretty and-1, walked over to the Blazers bench and let some choice words and a mouthguard fall out of his mouth:

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How Two Investigations Into Minnesota's Sexual-Assault Scandal Reached Two Very Different Conclusions

It was in the early morning hours after the Golden Gophers’ victory—in their September season opener, no less—that the student said she was sexually assaulted by multiple football players. She gave a statement to Minneapolis police a day later, going into detail about how she had sex with two guys and how more men then kept coming. She remembered people watching, the officer wrote in the report, “like they were waiting their turn.” She remembered yelling at them to stop sending people in, but they didn’t. Two men tried to force their penises into her mouth while a third had vaginal sex with her, according to the report. Another man, whom she thought might help her, instead forced her to to give him a blow job, she recalled.

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Life's Too Short to Clean Your Floors: Get Yourself a Robotic Vacuum For Just $127

ILIFE V3s Robotic Vacuum, $127

It doesn’t have the brand recognition of Roomba, or even Anker, but this ILIFE V3s robotic vacuum does have pretty spectacular Amazon reviews, and it can be yours for just $127 today. I suggest putting it straight to work on those pine needles on your floor.

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George Karl: I Struggled Because My Players Didn't Have Good Dads 

Longtime NBA head coach George Karl has written a book, titled Furious George, and in that book he partakes in the time-honored and always-wack tradition of coaches talking shit about players they used to coach. (Or so we are told by the New York Post, which got its hands on a copy of the book.)

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Mario Balotelli Takes Break From Doing Good Mario Things, Does Bad Mario Thing

Mario Balotelli is still thriving out in France, scoring eight goals in nine league appearances for out-of-nowhere Ligue 1 leaders Nice, so things aren’t all bad. What is maybe a little bad is that yesterday, for the first time this season, Good Mario gave way to Bad Mario, when the Italian striker was shown a straight red card for this:

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Stuff Your Holiday Decoration Box With Amazon's One-Day Keepsake Sale

Holiday Keepsake Gold Box

I wish this sale had happened earlier, but Amazon’s running a huge Gold Box deal on dozens of Christmas tree ornaments and decorations. If you order quickly with Prime, you can still get some of them in time for Christmas, but even if not, you can obviously reuse them year after year.

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Barry Switzer Was Just Fucking With Everyone When He Said He Met With Donald Trump

Former NFL coach Barry Switzer was spotted walking into Trump Tower in New York City a few weeks ago, and because President-elect Donald Trump has gone about filling his cabinet with ghouls, hacks, and the heinously unqualified, nobody thought twice when Switzer told reporters he was there to meet with Trump.

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Duke Suspends Grayson Allen Indefinitely

Duke beat Elon, but who cares. We’re all here for Grayson Allen getting T’d up for tripping an opponent (his third such tripping incident in the calendar year), having a mini-meltdown about it, the ensuing pile-on of Coach K, and everyone waking up this morning to the news that Duke has indefinitely suspended Allen, effective immediately.

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Jalopnik Here Are Six Cars That Secretly Have More Power Than They’re Supposed To | Kotaku It Looks

Jalopnik Here Are Six Cars That Secretly Have More Power Than They’re Supposed To | Kotaku It Looks Like Caroline Kennedy Cosplayed As An Anime Character | io9 Intriguing New Details About Rey’s Training in Star Wars: Episode VIII | Lifehacker Most Popular Featured Desktops of 2016 |

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Don't Sweat the Shipping Deadline: These Discounted Digital Subscriptions Make Great Gifts

Digital Subscription Gold Box

We’re running right up against holiday shipping deadlines for you procrastinators out there, but Amazon’s here to help with a collection of giftable digital subscriptions that will arrive in your inbox immediately.

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Nate Diaz Figures The UFC Should Pay Him $20 Million To Fight

The UFC is in a bit of a bind. They’d like to book the entertaining Khabib Nurmagomedov in a March fight for one of their multiple lightweight titles, but for stupid reasons they don’t have a good matchup for him right now. MMA Fighting’s Ariel Helwani texted children’s role model and potential Nurmagomedov opponent Nate Diaz tonight and got back the following: “I’m only fighting at lightweight for a big fight or 20 million just to take the call.” He also declared that he has no interest in fighting Conor McGregor a third time both because he already beat him up once and because the UFC isn’t offering him enough money to make it worth his while.

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George R.R. Martin Offers Fans A Christmas Present (Not The Winds Of Winter)

Famed no-pages haver George R.R. Martin, author of the popular A Song of Ice and Fire fantasy novels on which HBO’s hit sibling-fucking drama Game of Thrones is loosely based, offered up a Christmas treat for fans over on his Not A Blog, which is a blog, today. Was it an announcement that he’ll finally be finishing the sequel to A Storm of Swords, which was published 16 years ago? No—Martin wants to point fans to a short story (which is surely very good) set in the Wild Cards universe (don’t ask):

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This Strange Column About Bud Selig And Drugs Is Extremely Confusing

Estimable baseball writer Tim Brown has a column up today that’s either about how Bud Selig’s election to the Hall of Fame shows up the condemnation of players such as Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens by the likes of the veteran baseball writers who have refused to vote them into the Hall of Fame for the farce that it is, or about how people who think that Bud Selig’s election to the Hall of Fame shows up the condemnation of players such as Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens by the likes of the veteran baseball writers who have refused to vote them into the Hall of Fame for the farce that it is refuse to face the fact that it was labor, not management, that was responsible for the drug scandals baseball faced in the aughts.

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Matt Light Says He Tricked Brandon Meriweather Into Asking Bill Belichick To Pick Up His Bar Tab

Former Patriots offensive lineman Matt Light showed up on radio show Toucher and Rich this morning after his old teammate Brandon Meriweather called in, and told a wonderful story about the time he set up a painfully awkward conversation between the safety and head coach Bill Belichick at the 2011 Pro Bowl.

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Michael Bennett Turned His Penalized Sack Dance Into A Christmas Sweater

Seahawks defensive end Michael Bennett has been known to unleash an homage to Ravishing Rick Rude after recording a sack, and he hit the Rams with a particularly saucy one after sacking Jared Goff last Thursday. Bennett was penalized for the dance, but that didn’t stop him from commemorating it with a very dope Christmas sweater.

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Last Gasp Gift Idea: Save $8 On One Of Your Favorite Anker Battery Packs

Anker PowerCore 20100, $32 with code MARIOANK

A USB power pack is the best gift you can give someone who suffers from battery anxiety, and the Anker PowerCore line is far and away our readers’ favorite option. For a limited time, you can save $8 on the 20,100mAh model with promo code MARIOANK, with delivery by Christmas for Prime members.

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Police: Michael Floyd Was Drunk Enough For Mandatory Jail Time

Wide receiver Michael Floyd, who was waived by the Cardinals (and signed by the Patriots) after being arrested on suspicion of DUI on Dec. 12, has been charged with something called “Super Extreme DUI,” which is reserved for the drunkest of the drunk and carries automatic jail time.

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Juan Martin Del Potro May Not Play The Australian Open

The resurrection of Juan Martin del Potro was one of the quiet joys of 2016. He’d been out of the game for two years, he’d sunk lower than the No. 1000 ranking, and his wrists seemed like they’d never again be capable of bashing those flat, unforgiving groundstrokes. Yet somehow he snagged a silver medal in Rio by upsetting Djokovic and Nadal, surged into the quarterfinals at the U.S. Open, picked up his first ATP title since 2014, strung together a seven-match win streak, and sealed the Davis Cup victory for Argentina. If you hoped that comeback would continue cleanly right through 2017, you’ll have to wait a little longer: he might not be healthy enough for the first Grand Slam of the year.

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