Kings Hire New Front Office Guy To Roll Over For Vivek Ranadive

The Sacramento Kings recently wrapped up yet another losing season, a 32-50 campaign that is notable only for the All-Star weekend trade where they sent their best player to New Orleans for what appears to be a meager return. Once again, the Kings’ front office revealed itself to be an ill-equipped mess pulled in…

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Report: Sacramento Kings Consider Setting Themselves On Fire, Hiring Sam Hinkie

The Sacramento Kings, fresh off trading their franchise center for Buddy Hield and a draft pick, have apparently realized that their GM is a dunderhead. That’s good news, as a man who publicly announces that he turned down better offers for his best player and doesn’t know how the salary cap works should not be…

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It's Getting Worse For The Clippers

When we last checked in on the Los Angeles Clippers, they had just dropped a game to the Denver Nuggets and were settling into their usual pre-playoff slump. They followed that loss with three straight wins, albeit against a Big Three-less Cleveland Cavs, the tanking Los Angeles Lakers, and the dysfunctional New York…

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Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Root For The Following NBA Teams

Many NBA teams are good, or are crummy but feature some fun young Turks who can provide some reason for optimism, or are not good and do not have fun young Turks but are taking it to the limit one more time with ol’ Dirk Nowitzki, and therefore are good to root for. In almost every NBA city, there’s some reason to…

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Report: Ty Lawson's Probation Could Get Revoked Over Alleged Alcohol Violations

Last year, a Denver court sentenced Ty Lawson to a year of probation after he picked up two DUIs in six months in 2015. Prosecutors pushed for jail time, but he avoided hard time in exchange for a year of probation and 48 hours of community service. During the hearing in Denver County Court last March, the judge…

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DeMarcus Cousins Thinks Vivek Ranadivé And Vlade Divac Pulled A "Coward Move"

DeMarcus Cousins has left Sacramento, but he still has choice words for the simmering poop stew he left behind, and especially for the two stirring it: Kings owner Vivek Ranadive and general manager Vlade Divac. In an entertaining interview with Boogie over at The Undefeated, both come across as incommunicative and…

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Ty Lawson Found A Great Dumb Way To Burn A Ton Of Clock

The Sacramento Kings, the team that everyone spent the whole weekend mocking for their nonsensical DeMarcus Cousins trade, came out swinging in their first game post-Boogie and blew the doors off of the Denver Nuggets. The win puts them just half a game out of the playoffs somehow, and two games ahead of the Pelicans.

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Sacramento Radio Guy Pulled Off Air Over Anti-Vlade Divac Rant

Damien Barling is a co-host of “The Lo-Down,” a sports talk radio show on Sacramento’s KHTK 1140. Like most everyone, Barling was unhappy with the Kings torpedoing their future by trading DeMarcus Cousins to the Pelicans for garbage. He recently relayed his dissatisfaction with the Kings on his radio show after Vlade…

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DeMarcus Cousins Chokes Up At Goodbye Party In Sacramento

By all accounts, DeMarcus Cousins was completely blindsided when the Sacramento Kings traded him to the New Orleans Pelicans late Sunday night (Look at the man’s face when a flak told him that the trade was in motion right after the All-Star game). Based on this video from a going away party some Sacramento locals…

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Kings GM Vlade Divac: "I'm The Dumbest Shithead In The NBA," More Or Less

Sacramento Kings GM Vlade Divac made a blockbuster trade yesterday, shipping superstar center DeMarcus Cousins to the New Orleans Pelicans for a sack of oranges and a Fast & Furious DVD box set. He faced the music and held a press conference this afternoon, during which he revealed that he allowed himself to get…

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The Sacramento Kings Deserve All The Failures To Come

Being a Kings fan is an exercise in managing constant, crushing disappointment. Aside from one anomalous stretch in the early 2000’s, the team has never been worth a damn, and even then, their high water mark was getting owned in humiliating fashion by the Lakers. Last night’s disastrous DeMarcus Cousins trade is just…

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Who Else Could Have Made A Play For DeMarcus Cousins?

As you surely know by now, last night the Sacramento Kings traded DeMarcus Cousins (and Omri Casspi) to the New Orleans Pelicans for rookie Buddy Hield, veterans Tyreke Evans and Langston Galloway, a protected 2017 first-round draft choice, and a 2017 second-round pick. Now that we know what type of return the…

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Just What The Hell Were The Kings Thinking?

Let’s accept for a moment that DeMarcus Cousins is the rottenest asshole in the NBA, that the Sacramento Kings were never going to reach anything higher than a seventh or eighth seed with him on the roster, that Cousins was leaving in free agency as soon as he could, and that trading him now was the team’s best…

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Warriors Prove Their Basketball Strength By Bludgeoning Kings With Insane Third Quarter Run

The Sacramento Kings went into halftime of tonight’s game against the Golden State Warriors with a three-point lead, all the momentum, and 24 minutes of Draymond Green-less basketball ahead of them. Instead of DeMarcus Cousins leading a valiant repeat victory, they ended up crammed in the dang toilet and fossilized…

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Holy Shit, This Willie Cauley-Stein Dunk

Kings center Willie Cauley-Stein, a young NBA player that this blog once called “butt,” has been playing the best basketball of his career in 2017. He helped the Kings beat the Boston Celtics tonight without Boogie Cousins with 14 points and a smattering of rebounds and assists, but, oh God, who cares, look at this…

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Demarcus Cousins's Relationship With The Kings Is Just As Dysfunctional As You Thought

ESPN dropped a huge feature this morning that attempts to answer the eternal questions about the Kings: Can DeMarcus Cousins win in Sacramento, and who is to blame for the team’s ever-present dysfunction? You should really go read the entire thing.

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This Is What Ads Will Look Like On NBA Jerseys

Advertisements on NBA jerseys were inevitable, and we just got our first glimpse of the logos that will appear on the upper-left corners of jerseys starting in the 2017-2018 season, when the league begins its apparel deal with Nike. Here’s a look at the Celtics, Kings, and Sixers uniforms, courtesy of sentient press…

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DeMarcus Cousins Asks Two Reporters If They Want Him In Sacramento

DeMarcus Cousins is constantly being asked if he wants to remain a member of the Sacramento Kings. It’s a reasonable question given his often tumultuous relationship with the franchise, but I’m sure he gets damn tired of hearing it. After last night’s game against the Pistons, Cousins came up with a more entertaining…

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DeMarcus Cousins Really, Really Likes Joel Embiid

DeMarcus Cousins and Joel Embiid went at each other all night in an entertaining battle of the bigs as the Kings beat the Sixers 102-100. Cousins’ 30-7-5 stat line just topped Embiid’s 25-8-1, and judging by the jovial butt slaps and Boogie’s comments after the game, our two protagonists had just as much fun playing against each other as fans had watching it:

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I Hope The Beef Between Meyers Leonard And DeMarcus Cousins Lasts Forever

DeMarcus Cousins dropped 55 points on Tuesday, but not before dropping a platter of hot beef on Meyers Leonard’s lap. In the decisive seconds of the fourth quarter, he spun his way into a pretty and-1, walked over to the Blazers bench and let some choice words and a mouthguard fall out of his mouth:

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DeMarcus Cousins Apologizes To Everyone Except The Sacramento Bee

A week after DeMarcus Cousins chewed out a Sacramento Bee columnist for writing about his brother—and three days after the Bee released video of the incident—the Kings center has reportedly been fined $50,000 by the NBA. He also released an apology heavy on public relations-speak:

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