It's Time for Jezebel's March Madness 2017: Childhood vs. Adulthood

I’m going to be honest: choosing a March Madness theme was a little tough this year because we are all feeling… a little more existential than usual. But the complicated tenor of our spirits was exactly how we landed on Childhood vs. Adulthood, resulting in perhaps one of the most joyous brackets we’ve ever had.

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This Basketball Child's Daring Climb Is The Sports Highlight Of The Night

An errant basketball took a desperate break in the name of freedom this evening and tried to escape a game between Boise State and Fresno State. Referees tried to dislodge it; didn’t work. Players tried to retrieve it; no dice.

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Choking-Ass Glory Boy Rabbit Blows Huge Lead To Tortoise

Numerous genetic surveys have been done on the rabbit, but until this point in history, the potential existence of a clutch gene has been a scientific mystery. Are rabbits reliable performers in the clutch or are they wilting-ass chokers? Finally, we know for sure: Bunnies are weak as hell under pressure.

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Rio's Olympic Venues Look Like Hell Just Six Months After the Games

The Rio de Janeiro Summer Olympics were never going to go well. Thanks to decades of inequality and urban decay, the city always seemed ill-prepared to host athletes and fans from around the world. So it should come as no surprise that just six months after the games, the very expensive and sparkly venues built for…

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We Should Definitely Replace the Olympics With These Badass Indoor Skydiving Wind Games

A few months ago we discovered synchronized wind tunnel dancing and hoped the event would become a real Olympic sport. But now we’ve discovered an annual competition for indoor skydiving athletes called the Wind Games, and we should probably just cancel the Olympic Games altogether and watch them instead.

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Canadian Super Bowl Broadcaster Forced To Air Stupid American Ads For Free

This morning, a spokesman for Bell Media announced that the company would be laying off an undisclosed amount of workers at over two dozen locations. With over 6,000 employees, Bell is Canada’s largest media company. They are the parent company of Canadian sports giant TSN and they have broadcast partnerships with…

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The Surprising Way Jet Lag Impacts Major League Baseball Games

For the hundreds of Major League Baseball players, jet lag is an inescapable part of the sport. New research shows how disruptions to an athlete’s sleep cycle impairs his performance on the field—and how teams who have to travel east can be at a distinct disadvantage.

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Redo the NFL Season With a Copy of Madden 17, Just $20 Today Only

If your favorite NFL team has already crashed out for the season, you can pick up a copy of Madden 17 for just $20, and recreate the year as you see fit. Play as the Vikings and sign a better kicker! Move the Chargers to somewhere larger than a Texas high school stadium! Keep Derek Carr healthy! Properly disclose knee…

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Los Angeles Really Wants To Host The 2024 Olympics

It is becoming increasingly clear that hosting an Olympic Games tends to precede financial ruin. Rio de Janeiro just got finished hosting the Summer Games and the city is more or less out of money. Would-be host cities of the 2022 Winter Games scrambled to take their names out of the running and Boston very loudly…

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Roll Away Your Aches and Pains With This $10 Muscle Roller Stick

I have painful, yet fond memories of my college’s Athletic Trainer using one of these on my thigh after I suffered a strained quad. They are hell while using it, but heaven afterwards. And for $10 when you use the code Naipo604, this muscle roller can help further your love-hate relationship with working out.

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The Good Ol' Hockey Game Makes A Great Gift With Amazon's NHL Gear Sale

40% Off NHL Deal of the Day

Hello out there. We’re on the air. It’s Hockey Night tonight. Tension grows, the whistle blows, and the puck goes down the ice…*ahem* Sorry. Anyway, Amazon is having a sale, just in time for Christmas, on some pretty nice NHL gear. Celebrate the best game you can name with sweatshirts, tees, and some pretty nice hats, that you can only hope you’ll lose during the next game you go to.

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