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LeBron Tells LaVar Ball To Fall Back

One of the many outlandish claims that Lonzo Ball’s dad LaVar made on his recent press tour to proclaim the supreme basketball ability of his three sons was that his kids were set up for success in the NBA more than LeBron’s two sons. Specifically, Ball said that LeBron’s sons aren’t primed for NBA success the way…

Deadspin Up All Night: We Owe You Nothing

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Drink water.

Thrillist Employees Vote Overwhelmingly To Unionize

For the past several weeks, employees at the media company Thrillist have been subject to an anti-union campaign from their management. Today, Thrillist employees voted on whether or not to unionize.

Dwight Howard ate an alarming amount of junk food before joining Lakers

Howard consumed as much as 24 candy bars’ worth of sugar a day.

Dwight Howard ate an alarming amount of junk food before joining Lakers

Howard consumed as much as 24 candy bars’ worth of sugar a day.

Dolphins sign LB Kiko Alonso to extension through 2020 season

Kiko Alonso is now under contract with the Dolphins through 2020.

Three Minnesota Football Players Cleared In University Sexual Assault Case

Three football players who were recommended for suspensions as part of a University of Minnesota sexual assault investigation have had those punishments overturned, lawyers for the players announced yesterday. After this latest round of appeals, so far four of the five recommended expulsions in the case have been…

Man named in Brady jersey case sought autographs, selfies (Yahoo Sports)

The Mexican media executive suspected of stealing Tom Brady’s jersey went to the Super Bowl as a working journalist but spent the week collecting selfies and autographs from football greats and boasting to colleagues that he was there as a fan. Mexican journalists who were in Houston for the game and interacted with Martin Mauricio Ortega, former director of the tabloid La Prensa, told The Associated Press that he brought multiple NFL memorabilia items, including a Kurt Warner jersey he hoped to sell to the former quarterback for thousands of dollars. ”When I met him he was carrying a football helmet and he was bragging about having the signatures of former Super Bowl MVPs, and he was a little disappointed that Marshall Faulk refused to sign it,” said Ariel Velazquez, who covered the game for the Mexican daily El Universal.

Mass Effect: Andromeda: The Kotaku Review

Mass Effect: Andromeda sprawls and sprawls, eagerly offering you so much to see and do that it nearly loses itself in the process. In this massive and uncertain voyage into an alien galaxy, the best way to center yourself is to hold on to other people, and trust that the mission will accomplish at least some of its…

Panthers QB Newton to have shoulder surgery, will miss OTAs (Yahoo Sports)

Panthers quarterback Cam Newton’s offseason ”sabbatical” is going to be a little longer than expected. Newton will undergo surgery on March 30 to repair a partially torn rotator cuff in his right throwing shoulder, according to team spokesman Steve Drummond. Drummond said Tuesday that Newton will miss minicamp and OTAs, but is expected to be ready for the start of training camp in late July.

New York Giants: Geno Smith Isn't Eli Manning's Heir Apparent

The New York Giants likely aren’t expecting Geno Smith will be the future franchise quarterback who will eventually replace Eli Manning.Stories of redemption and coming back from adversities in sports fascinate pockets of both diehard and casual fans.Brett Favre, Michael Vick, Kurt Warner, Ca…

Yankees Player Owns Hairless Cat

With spring training no longer a novelty and no actual games to cover, baseball’s news cycle is stuck in a brief rut where it has to rely on waterskiing squirrels to stay alive. Today’s example comes to you in the form of a hairless cat named Mr. Delicious. He belongs to Yankees first baseman Greg Bird.

The Sequel to the Most Affordable Sonicare Just Got a Smile-Inducing Discount

Philips’ entry-level Sonicare Essence electric toothbrush has long been a reader favorite, and now Amazon’s running the best deal we’ve seen on the sequel, the Essence+.

Dwight Howard Used To Consume A Truly Shocking Amount Of Candy

There are plenty of amusing details in Baxter Holmes’s ESPN piece about the NBA’s love of PB&Js, but one anecdote about Dwight Howard’s health in 2013 overhauled my understanding of what the human body can do.

Cam Newton to undergo surgery on his throwing shoulder

Newton will be sidelined for about four months.

Colin Kaepernick Being Blackballed By NFL? Survey Saysâ¦

Spike Lee may be onto something, as its rather inexplicable for Colin Kaepernick to still be without a football team. Has the former 49er been blackballed by the NFL?On Sunday, the world’s most famous New York sports fan, Spike Lee, made a rather ominous declaration. He inferred that quarterb…

Top NFL Draft prospect Sidney Jones vows to play in 2017 following Achilles surgery

Jones suffered the injury at his pro day this month.

Kansas City Chiefs kicker shows off his massive ups… or lack thereof

Cairo Santos was ready to throw down a dunk. He just ran into one big problem.

Jim Harbaugh Freakin' Loves Twitter

Michigan head coach Jim Harbaugh sat down with GQ to talk about peanut butter, treating his eight-year-old kids like his football players, and some other stuff—you can read the full interview here. What really jumped out from the piece, though, was the fact that the Wolverines head coach really, really loves scrolling…

2017 NFL Draft: Best Fit for Top 30 Prospects

Shuffling through the top 30 prospects in the 2017 NFL Draft and figuring out where the best place for them to play would beThe 2017 NFL Draft will be here before we know, which will be awesome because we all need some football after this long break. Free agency is cool and all, but teams are buil…

2017 NFL Draft: Ideal Fits for Top 30 Prospects

Marshawn Lynch's agent says Beast Mode misses football

But does he really want to play again?

Knives, Ranked

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering weed, highlighters, Little Debbies, and more.

Bill Simmons Shows Entire World His Ass

You wanna see some petty shit? Here’s some extremely petty shit:

Jim Harbaugh says Colin Kaepernick will 'win championships' in the NFL

Harbaugh is backing his former quarterback wholeheartedly.

2017 NFL draft prospect countdown, No. 35: Ryan Ramczyk, OT, Wisconsin

There is a certain tranquility to watching Ryan Ramczyk work.

How Tom Brady's Super Bowl jersey was found — the inside story

How Tom Brady’s Super Bowl jersey was found — the inside story

You Are About To Be One Dumb Accident Away From Bankruptcy, If You Aren't Already

There are some nights when it keeps me up in a panicked haze. What if I get hit by a car while I’m running? What if I take a spill on my bike and tear some ligaments or, worse, have to take an ambulance to the hospital from some far flung road outside the city where I live? An x-ray? I’m eating lentils for weeks.…

Hacked Texts Suggest Manafort Continued to Play a Role After Departing Trump Campaign

As the investigation into the Trump campaign’s contacts with Russian intelligence services heats up, the White House has launched what appears to be a concerted effort to minimize the role that Paul Manafort—the former Trump campaign chairman with a long history of ties to allies of Russian president Vladimir…

Mario Balotelli Missed Start Of Match Because He Tied His Shoes Too Tight

Mario Balotelli’s blistering start to his career in Nice has cooled off some of late. No doubt eager to get back to scoring ways, Balotelli tied his boots nice and tight before stepping out onto the field against Nantes this weekend. Only he soon realized he’d tied them too tight and had to get a coach to undo them…