Oh, Dimitri, we hardly knew ye—not that we were given much of a chance, seeing as your too-brief and utterly incandescent Premier League career lasted just a season and a half.
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Oh, Dimitri, we hardly knew ye—not that we were given much of a chance, seeing as your too-brief and utterly incandescent Premier League career lasted just a season and a half.
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It doesn’t make much sense to draw sweeping conclusions about the direction of the USMNT after yesterday’s U.S. vs. Serbia match, and it wouldn’t no matter what the result was. Despite being Bruce Arena’s re-debut at the start of his second spell as USMNT manager as he ushers the team into its post-Klinsmann era and…
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Non-league Sutton United continued its miraculous run through the FA Cup with a 1-0 win over Championship side Leeds United thanks to a penalty scored by team captain Jamie Collins, who earns a living with his day job as a bricklayer.
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Tottenham Hotspur avoided embarrassment by only the tiniest of margins in the FA Cup today, trailing the fourth-division Wycombe Wanderers for most of the day before escaping with the late win. Down 2-0 at halftime to the League 2 team and tied 3-3 as they went into stoppage time, a final goal from Heung-min Son in…
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Arsenal will be sans grouchy zipper savant/manager Arsene Wenger for four games, after the English F.A. formally banned him this morning. Wenger was charged with misconduct on Monday for an outburst during last weekend’s win over Burnley.
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Greenwich Borough FC are a tiny club that play in the Isthmian League’s Division One South. That’s the eighth division of English soccer and it’s mostly made up of semi-pro sides in London and southeast England. They played Hanwell Town yesterday, but the game was abandoned after 15 minutes due to a frozen pitch.
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Arsenal midfielder Granit Xhaka was in London’s Heathrow Airport yesterday to see off his girlfriend’s brother on a flight to Germany. Things didn’t go as planned, though, and when the brother learned that he would miss his flight, Xhaka allegedly blew up on an employee of the airport, calling the woman “a fucking…
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That was more like it. Sure, Manchester City’s 2-2 draw against Tottenham on Saturday was on one hand frustratingly disappointing, seeing as the Citizens completely dominated Spurs and, barring some poor finishing, even worse refereeing, and a couple ill-timed defensive lapses, could’ve and should’ve been an easy City…
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Just 13 minutes into Hull City’s Premier League match against Chelsea yesterday, Hull midfielder Ryan Mason went up for a header in the box. Chelsea defender Gary Cahill rushed to intercept the ball, but instead, he smashed into Mason’s head, immediately sending him to the ground.
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In what has been a pretty tame January transfer window—unless Manchester United discarding spare parts gets you excited—Borussia Dortmund made perhaps the biggest splash today when they signed 17-year-old Swedish phenom Alexander Isak, along with extending the contract of the world’s future best player, Christian…
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May we all be so high on life and/or other substances at one point or another that the simple act of plucking ping pong balls out of a bowl can fill us with the same joy Rod Stewart felt while helping with the Scottish Cup draw.
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Arsenal manager Arsène Wenger has now been formally charged with misconduct by the English F.A. after a spat he instigated with the referees during yesterday’s Premier League match against Burnley.
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The danger, if you can call it that, of regularly watching Lionel Messi play soccer—which is to say, to watch one man routinely perform stupefying acts of brilliance the likes of which you’ve never seen before—is that at some point, you run the risk of becoming inured to it.
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Brazilian soccer club Chapecoense is playing its first game today—a friendly against Palmeiras—since the majority of the team was killed in a plane crash last November. With a rebuilt roster of 22 new players, most on loan from other clubs, Chapecoense took the field for the first time after a short ceremony to honor…
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Wayne Rooney became Manchester United’s all-time leading goal scorer in dramatic fashion today, with an equalizer in stoppage time against Stoke City today:
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A soccer match between Pachuca and Jaguares in Liga MX was briefly and adorably interrupted by a happy-go-lucky doggie that just wanted to enjoy an open expanse of grass. What a good dog!
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Sunderland are in trouble. The squad is bad, the team is broke, and the man overseeing it all, once-heralded and now cosmically beleaguered manager David Moyes, can’t muster the will to even feign optimism.
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We can now place public proclamations of everlasting love alongside ugly tackles, bare-chested celebrations, and diving as things that are against the rules in soccer.
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On Tuesday, USMNT goalkeeper Tim Howard questioned the passion of his dual-national teammates, in part blaming them and their lack of American-ness for the USMNT’s recent string of poor results. He tried walking back those comments by citing the strong play of dual-national teammates Jermaine Jones and Fabian Johnson,…
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USA Today got ahold of Tim Howard, and for some reason he decided to criticize a number of his United States Men’s National Team teammates as lacking sufficient passion for their country:
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Sepp Blatter may have been ousted from the corrupt and labyrinthine bureaucracy he constructed out of the billions of dollars that FIFA funnels in from the world’s love of soccer, but lest you worry that the organization isn’t as perplexingly, exasperatingly stupid as before, we have the case of Liverpool, the…
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Britain’s National Police Chiefs’ Council has released an update on the widespread investigation into sexual abuse in British soccer and the numbers are staggering. According to the NPCC, there are:
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Real Madrid hadn’t lost since an April Champions League match against Wolfsburg, winning or drawing 40 games in a row to set the record for longest unbeaten streak in Spanish soccer history. But that ended at the Estadio Ramón Sánchez-Pizjuán in Seville this evening, as Sevilla stormed back from a 1-0 deficit to…
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Manchester City went to Goodison Park today and got drubbed, as Everton put four past Pep Guardiola’s side. It was the type of match that will embolden critics of Guardiola’s style, as City controlled 71 percent of the possession and had twice as many shots as Everton, but lacked a cutting edge.
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Once I was playing the FIFA 17 demo and I somehow managed to score an own goal while trying to do a goal kick. That self-own pales in comparison to the goalmouth-scrambler conceded by Reddit user redz615 yesterday. Please enjoy the cinematic sendup that this dumb goal truly deserves.
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Current Premier League leaders Chelsea are headed to Leicester to play the defending champions this weekend, but they’ll reportedly do so without leading scorer Diego Costa. Things were going so well for Costa just a week ago, but according to a series of reports, Costa and manager Antonio Conte did some rowing.
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Unfortunately, German soccer star Thomas Müller cannot answer any of your questions at this time. As you can see, he is on a very important phone call:
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Last season was West Ham’s best since the founding of the Premier League, as they finished seventh and qualified for the Europa League. Their talisman was attacking midfielder Dimitri Payet, who led the team with 12 goals and 14 assists in all competitions. Payet capped his year with a starring turn at Euro 2016,…
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The docket at the FIFA governing council’s meeting tomorrow morning in Zurich includes the following items: “Approval of the Media and Marketing Regulations for the FIFA Beach Soccer World Cup Bahamas 2017”; “Monitoring Committee Israel-Palestine”; as well as “Format of the 2026 FIFA World Cup.”
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