God Help Them, The Cleveland Browns Are Trying To Outsmart The NFL

Reaction to the Cleveland Browns’ surprising trade with the Houston Texans for Brock Osweiler Thursday ran the gamut from fulsome praise to “Bill Polian Yells At Cloud.” Cleveland indeed waded into new territory (for the NFL) by using its extraordinary surplus of salary cap space to essentially trade for a higher…

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The Capitals Are Really Going For It With The Kevin Shattenkirk Trade

The NHL-leading Washington Capitals acquired defenseman Kevin Shattenkirk from the St. Louis Blues on Monday in exchange for Zach Sanford, a 2017 first-round pick, and a conditional 2019 second-round pick. (Initial reports said the conditional second-round pick was for 2018, but the Capitals had already traded that…

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Shane Doan Is A Little Tired Of Seeing The Coyotes Give Up 

It is an axiom that hockey players rarely have anything interesting to say. Especially once they’ve been around as long as Coyotes captain Shane Doan, they’ve mastered the ability to engage autopilot and just spout a beige stream of bromides until the reporters haranguing them for quotes have filled their notebook or…

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The Ben Bishop Trade Is Startlingly Smart

The first reactions to Sunday’s Ben Bishop trade were naturally along the lines of What the hell? Bishop, probably the best goalie in Tampa Bay Lightning history, is headed to a Kings team that only the day before got back its own franchise goalie, Jonathan Quick, after a four-month injury rehab. But there’s logic to…

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Now Let Us Heap Scorn Upon The NBA Trade Deadline Fuck-Ups

So the NBA trade deadline was a big dud, again. It featured one blockbuster deal—the New Orleans Pelicans just straight-up robbing the Sacramento Kings for DeMarcus Cousins—and then a handful of minor deals, none of which seem likely to shake up the standings all that much. That’s butt.

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Kings GM Vlade Divac: "I'm The Dumbest Shithead In The NBA," More Or Less

Sacramento Kings GM Vlade Divac made a blockbuster trade yesterday, shipping superstar center DeMarcus Cousins to the New Orleans Pelicans for a sack of oranges and a Fast & Furious DVD box set. He faced the music and held a press conference this afternoon, during which he revealed that he allowed himself to get…

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The Sacramento Kings Deserve All The Failures To Come

Being a Kings fan is an exercise in managing constant, crushing disappointment. Aside from one anomalous stretch in the early 2000’s, the team has never been worth a damn, and even then, their high water mark was getting owned in humiliating fashion by the Lakers. Last night’s disastrous DeMarcus Cousins trade is just…

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Who Else Could Have Made A Play For DeMarcus Cousins?

As you surely know by now, last night the Sacramento Kings traded DeMarcus Cousins (and Omri Casspi) to the New Orleans Pelicans for rookie Buddy Hield, veterans Tyreke Evans and Langston Galloway, a protected 2017 first-round draft choice, and a 2017 second-round pick. Now that we know what type of return the…

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Just What The Hell Were The Kings Thinking?

Let’s accept for a moment that DeMarcus Cousins is the rottenest asshole in the NBA, that the Sacramento Kings were never going to reach anything higher than a seventh or eighth seed with him on the roster, that Cousins was leaving in free agency as soon as he could, and that trading him now was the team’s best…

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Reports: DeMarcus Cousins Traded To New Orleans Pelicans

The first blockbuster of NBA trade-deadline season has arrived. According to several reports on Twitter, the Sacramento Kings have agreed to trade DeMarcus Cousins to the New Orleans Pelicans, where he will join fellow former Kentucky Wildcat big man (and MVP of tonight’s All-Star Game) Anthony Davis. Yahoo’s Adrian…

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Report: Cavs Get Kyle Korver, Likely For Crap

The Cavaliers are doubling down on a team strength and adding one of the best floor spacers in the NBA. Per Adrian Wojnarowski, the Cavaliers are finalizing a trade for Atlanta Hawks three-point specialist Kyle Korver. It’s not clear who exactly the Cavs will give up (Mike Dunleavy? A future first? Some cans of…

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